Out of Focus

building new memories, after years of separation

now things are different and they are distorted

and unclear to me why we even restarted

and we can’t discuss it because you’ll get frustrated

& i can’t mention my take on it because you’ll get aggravated

& it’s only when we’ve been drinking and it’s dark

can i open up my heart

& open up the palm of my hand, and place it in yours

in the backseat, subtly, so no one sees

& it’s just a slight clutch;

my finger wrapped around yours, a slight touch

holding your hand on your lap

but i take all the crumbs and all of the scraps

& piece them together and force them to fit

into a meaningful masterpiece to make it legit.

and there’s so much said in these blurry nights

but i cant remember them, no matter how hard i try

& it makes me wonder if it’s even worth it

that i get intoxicated on purpose

weekend and weeknight

to gain something, to have something, to make things right.

it’s been years

& i envisioned us phoning

& texting

& sleeping

together

& its all unraveling

connecting

piecing

together-

but not in the way i had hoped

& hope was all i had for us.

KV ©

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