The Paradox

Isaiah 14:12:

“How are you fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, Son of the Morning…”

“In Christianity, Lucifer refers to devil or “Satan.” Lucifer was cast into hell because he acted against God’s wishes and rebelled against Him. The name Lucifer means “morning star,” or “the light bearer,” with reference to his former beauty as the most gorgeous of angels, before God threw him to hell. Anything which tempts, lures, prompts a man to sin and causes contempt in the eyes of God is said to be an act of Satan. Thus we can see that Lucifer had a rather beautiful but non-divine poetic origin.”

This is the dichotomy of my existence;
this is the hypocrisy: my persistence
to fall into temptation,
time and time again,
after praying for salvation
I fall right back into sin.

This is the destruction
of my immense intelligence
when I conduct negligence
to protect myself.

This is the demonstration
of how beauty can be wasted
by a girl with a fascination
with innocence,
yet runs towards predicaments
to put her in;
this is the dissonance
of my existence.

This is the contradiction
of my character;
this is my affliction:
I continue to devour
the oxymorons and the
I am the living document
of thin lines.

This is the tragedy
of my personality.
This is the flaw of me-
this is me, personally.

I am an Angel
full of purity.
I am an Angel
yearning for maturity.
I am an Angel
whose wings are so wide,
ready to take flight.
I am an Angel
with a dark side.

I am the Sinner
whose inner
cannot be tamed.
I am far from a beginner
at the tricks of the trade.
I am the Sinner
who hurts herself
I am the Sinner
who cannot be helped.

I am an Angel
whose smile is genuine.
I am the Sinner
whose wild, feminine
aura draws her
closer to provocative situations.
I am an Angel
who’s a victim of your unreasonable expectations.
I am the Sinner
who meditates manipulations.
I am an Angel
whose love is dedicated.

I am a girl
who is in dire need of love.
I am a woman
who is afraid to give herself up.
I am a child
who just wants goodness
I am a female
who doesn’t know what to do with
all the power I possess
because I have been so blessed
with a power that I am ashamed to claim
through my body, through my mind, through my name.

I’m honest and I’m modest
I’m vain and I’m a narcissist.
I’m timid and I’m giving
I’m tempted and I’m sinning.

I am conflicted
with being gifted.
I can use these tools
to do good or to abuse.
But the only one to lose
is the girl looking back at me.
And when I look back, in her
I see an Angel,
who happens to be a Sinner.

KV ©




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One thought on “The Paradox

  1. Wow!! This one was talking to me!! As crazy as it might sound, those are my thoughts exactly! Hit a home run with this one! Good stuff!

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