location unidentified.

my imagination

goes so far, but not there;

not where

i see this situation

occurring

…a blur.

you are with your children.

i am wearing glasses.

we look older than i ever thought

we could.

i notice you first, maybe i’m carrying groceries.

i know it is you right away,

but i don’t say anything.

i feel ugly, i feel unprepared.

you look good, even at thirty five.

my heart is pumping

faster each second that’s passing.

how can this be, all of these years went by

and here you are, taking your children

somewhere,

being a good father

making up for the mistakes

of your own.

i have waited and anticipated this moment

inside of my mind, many years ago

when i believed that there was still a possibility

that we would meet up in our thirties-

single-

and start back where we left off

in our teens.

and now, the created scene is my reality,

concrete,

in front of me.

i’m watching you-

the you at thirty five –

and i’m letting the chance

pass me by.

maybe if i looked good, had my hair done

down, like you always liked it

i would approach you confidently.

but i cannot

think of anything to say

to you;

the you at thirty five.

so i let you go, live your life

a life i will never know

but will forever imagine

about.

and i will hope

that somewhere, in between your busy schedule,

taking care of your business,

and your gorgeous wife,

and your children,

and your dog,

i will hope

that perhaps on a lonely night coming home late from work,

lying on your couch,

alone

with a drink,

that you wonder

where and how i am-

what i look like, if i have a family;

i hope that my smile and my laugh

ring a bell in your memory

if you come across something that reminds you of me.

i hope that you know that while you are aging

in your thirties, and forties, and fifties

i will love you

and i will miss you

just as i had

while you were growing

in your teens.

KV ©

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