whatever

i can’t get my mind over it
and i can’t get my mind around it
to understand it-
the timeless question
of where time
takes us.

with the right song on
and with the right amount of alcohol
in my system
i just listen
to the words, to the beat
and lose myself in my memories.

it’s just this word
LOVE;
it’s just this concept
that exists
in every culture,
country,
in every generation.

we all want it
we all do stupid fucking shit
to keep it
to feel it
to lose it
to hold it
to control it
to taste it.

but what the fuck is it, really?

is it missing you
on an aimless wednesday night
wondering what new additions
you made
to your apartment
and your
life?

is it
the pictures
of us kissing
of us alone
of us laughing,
drunk,
and holding each other close?

is it the places we went
the dinners we ate
the wine we drank
the sex we had
the drives and the talks
the fights and the times
i could swear
we would never talk
again.

but we did,
after all the bullshit
there i was again
at your door
back for more
because i just wanted to feel it.

there comes a time when the dancing
and the drinking
and the freedom
becomes a prison
and i don’t want to live in
it by myself, much longer.
if its not you,
then who will it be,
if anyone?

i don’t remember the size of your hands
or what you look like when you’re just laying there
on your couch.
i don’t remember what it’s like to hear from you
everyday
but i do remember the way
you looked at me
when you looked like you really cared.
and sometimes,
i just want to get back there.
but if its not you

who will it be?;
if anyone?

KV ©

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