end scene.

24 hours earlier:

He said, “I love you. Okay? I love you. And no matter what happens between us- if we don’t work out or whatever- just know that I love you.”

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There are daydreams that I have played out in my mind- kisses and conversations- that we are supposed to have. There are more mornings we’re meant to wake up in each other’s arms, when your alarm goes off, you press snooze, kiss my forehead and wrap yourself around me for 10 more minutes. There are more “I love you’s” that have to be said, more memories and inside jokes meant to be made, orgasms given, orgasms had, pictures and walks taken, places visited, things thrown, things broken, tears shed, curses yelled; there are so many more blank pages waiting to be written in the story of you and I.

But it all comes at the cost of my entire entity. I have to sell my soul- along with other novelties like my self-respect, my intelligence, my confidence, my sanity- to gain these moments with you- a bargain I have eagerly agreed upon for far too many moons. I just wanted it all with you, blindly and foolishly overlooking the reality of who you are and what you do, because nothing was more important to me than the story of you and I living on; just to get these sporadic, drunken confessions of some kind of distorted version of a love you have for me. I would have taken so much more hurt from you just to continue loving you because that was the choice I had made.

____________________________________________________________________________________

There are daydreams that I have played out in my mind- kisses and conversations- that we were supposed to have. There were more mornings we’re meant to wake up in each other’s arms, when your alarm goes off, you press snooze, kiss me on my forehead and wrap yourself around me for 10 more minutes. But those moments will never happen; the pages won’t be written.

 

And our story comes to an end.

 

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