Love takes you to some crazy places.
And wherever I went, I took my attachment for you with me. Your love, the one you spoke of, well that I couldn’t carry along with me no matter how much I wanted. That love was nowhere to be found; only in the words that dissipated as soon as they left your mouth.
The clock read 5:47.
I remember because it’s what I stayed fixated on in order to soak in the moment for as long as I could. You ever do that? Try to capture every inch of detail from a moment, hoping that you can take it with you for longer than it lasts? This was one of those times, at exactly 5:47 on that November night.
I thought you were different, because we were different in the same way.
I thought you valued the importance of the little things; the magnitude of meeting someone who makes you feel like being who you are isn’t a curse. That’s how you made me feel, you made me feel like myself. Without any questions asked, without any judgment. And after only a month of knowing me, when you told me “I’m scared to fall more for you than I already have” I believed that I made you feel the same way.
So then why wasn’t it enough?; the question doesn’t stop haunting me.
My curiosity doesn’t die out although being totally unanswered.
Why isn’t love enough?
It’s such an enigma, because for me, love is all that I ever needed- a one life stand.
All the busllhit that gets in the way of two people – of us – all the ways we lost ourselves, and forgot what brought us together, it became lethal. And despite you replacing me with meaningless people to fill the other side of the bed and to fill the voids, I’ll always cherish a moment when I knew love really did exist between us- when it was stronger than the hurt- and I savored it so that it wouldn’t die out when the clock changed to 5:48.
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