Idle Hands & Heavy Heart

i’m…
finding company in Socrates’ prophecies
when he speaks to me indirectly
telling me that a wise man
understands
that he knows
nothing.so be it- here i am
standing tall amongst the wisest men
because I’m baffled by
everything.

all these man-made and hand-made
technicalities
of the mechanics
of technology;
how cars maneuver
and computers
communicate
and planes ease in the air carrying so much weight
and we have telephones and televisions selling visions
and illusions
and all of it leaves me in complete confusion

BUT

i’m more obscured by the invisible courses;
the subliminal forces
underlying life, unseen to the naked eye
things that can’t be made on an assembly line
or gotten and given and used at an exact time

i’m talking about us
i’m talking about love
about the mind
about time
about the feelings and emotions tied
to and intertwining every person
the reasons as to why living is worth it

i’m talking about
the way i can remember
his olive green sweater
that brought out his complexion
and the touch of its texture

i’m talking about affection
the true perfection of connection
being held, touched, and spoken to
in a way you just feel good and understood being you.

how loss, leaving, and love is depressing
and why we have such a hard time expressing
and confessing
and undressing
to the ones we care most about

where essence goes and aura comes from
and how someone’s presence can make you numb
and just the sight of them makes your stomach jump

hate and baggage
and taking advantage
i just want to grab it
and break them in half if
i could but but i can’t
because it’s all out of our hands…

all these intangible things
that i can’t grasp
with these two, small hands
or with this one, big heart…

notions and concepts
that i can’t escape;
“destiny” and “fate”
and “what’s meant to be…”

it all means so much
to this unsettled mind.

KV ©

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