the van wyck, southbound

you know, you broke my heart again

tonight.

it wasn’t the kind of broken heart

when you walked away from me

with a wink

telling me it was over,

and we were over,

forever.
you broke my heart

tonight

with the realization

that no matter

how close we may get

no matter how many phone calls

my phone receives

with the ring tone

designated for you

no matter how many texts

or voice mails

that you leave

i will never get close to you-

i will never know you-

the way i used to.

 

you keep throwing around

the phrase

“i love you”

how can you?

how can you not know

after all this time

the confusion you cause

and the love you draw

out of me, from within me.

 

tonight, on the way home

from the city

on the van wyck

i passed our high school

and so many songs

played on the radio

and so many memories

played out in my mind

and so many thoughts

raced through my head

and there was so much pain

inside my heart.

 

its just an organ, i know.

its just a part of my body

that pumps blood, i know.

but it keeps me alive

and without it,

i am nothing.

without my heart,

and the valves,

i am nothing-

nonexistent,

dead.

and that’s how i feel without you.

 

time keeps ticking

and i keep wishing

that it will fall into place.

but i’m tired

and its 4 in the morning

and its 5 years later

and nothings changed.

 

KV ©

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