I am a writer. Not by choice, but by compulsion. I write my thoughts out, like this, to no one in particular. The majority of my life is on paper; every day, every year for[…]

46,339 total views, 3 views today

Hopeless Places

You have no idea how hard it is for me to write this, to put this out there; but I have to. I just have to get it out- the story of you & I-[…]

49,829 total views, 6 views today

end scene.

24 hours earlier: He said, “I love you. Okay? I love you. And no matter what happens between us- if we don’t work out or whatever- just know that I love you.” ____________________________________________________________________________________ There are[…]

23,408 total views, 3 views today


I think the most painful truth of existence is that nothing lasts forever… ———————————————————————— No matter how much you touch someone- caress their skin, put your mouth on their’s – no matter how many times[…]

16,930 total views, 2 views today


DECEPTION: you’ve got it down to perfection so good; a side profession living lies without confession giving me a false perception misleading me with misconceptions. i had faith in opaque obsessions; i couldn’t see through[…]

11,389 total views, 3 views today

The Paradox

Isaiah 14:12: “How are you fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, Son of the Morning…” “In Christianity, Lucifer refers to devil or “Satan.” Lucifer was cast into hell because he acted against God’s wishes and rebelled[…]

12,708 total views, 1 views today

Starving Spirits

I’ve searched to find the truth in Her, I’ve yearned to get a boost from Her. I thought that I could lose in Her all that was empty inside of me. I thought that if[…]

9,493 total views, 1 views today

High On Life

He took me to the top of the world, to the very edge of the earth. He reached out his hand and said, “Trust me”, as I was approaching the last few feet of elevation.[…]

9,702 total views, no views today


there’s a lot of hype, but no substance like the type of love with no trust, it’s the kind of lust with no true touch. it’s obsessing over sex but when it’s over you don’t[…]

7,284 total views, 1 views today


He took it away from me- Not “taken” like how teenage girls Talk about their first time At sleepovers, over popcorn; That kind of taking requires giving. He took it like a thief; He stole[…]

17,046 total views, 4 views today


A man stopped me while I was running in the park one day and he knew my life struggles just by my stride. He took my two hands in his and told me: “You are way too[…]

24,146 total views, 2 views today

No One.

April 25, 2008. 335 days in. “…raspberry mojito & margarita on the rocks. Typical. Good time, good convo, as usual. Then it got deep- oh wait before that- as he rolled a blunt in the[…]

6,950 total views, 1 views today

you at thirty five

location unidentified. my imagination goes so far, but not there; not where i see this situation occurring …a blur. you are with your children. i am wearing glasses. we look older than i ever thought[…]

6,750 total views, no views today

some drugs for thought

Let me start off by stating that I don’t condone doing drugs. With that being said, drugs are and most importantly have always been a staple part of society. I’m talking as far back as[…]

8,018 total views, 1 views today


Love takes you to some crazy places. And wherever I went, I took my attachment for you with me. Your love, the one you spoke of, well that I couldn’t carry along with me no matter[…]

4,395 total views, 1 views today

Sixteen & Forties

“Looking for parking fucking sucks.” A string of back lights with barely any space in between one car from another, that is all that I am getting from these Astoria streets on a Saturday night.[…]

6,278 total views, no views today

golden hearts & tainted trust.

He drew my ear closer to his mouth, with his arm around my back, to speak above the music: “I don’t want you to think it’s you; it was never you. It was never you[…]

5,416 total views, 2 views today

fuck[ing] you.

Your thick tongue rubs against mine. Our heads turn violently from side, to side. The taste of your saliva is my favorite aphrodisiac, along with the smell of your sweat on your skin. And I’m[…]

15,440 total views, 5 views today

wet for words

my fingers press, slowly as i start. i have an idea of what to think of; my “theme” for the night that will get me to finish. as i get more into it- the thought-[…]

6,818 total views, no views today

an ode to god

The few and far in between times when I am not so wrapped up in my egotistic, neurotic anxieties, I am in a state of awe of all the majesties that life has to offer.[…]

3,884 total views, 1 views today

love story

    In Verona, Italy, there exists an alleyway that leads to what is called “la Casa de Giulietta”, the alleged inspiration of Shakespeare’s Juliet, balcony and all. Throughout the years, tourists have come to this[…]

4,394 total views, 1 views today


There is a sadness to the summer; a loneliness that lingers in all it’s expectations. Waking up to the sound of cicadas in the early morning and then the subtle sound of crickets ringing in[…]

3,574 total views, 1 views today

51 Times

    In 1969, one of the most famous American murders took place at 10099 Cielo Drive, constructed by the infamous Charles Manson. Although all the deaths were horrific, the one that struck me the most[…]

5,975 total views, no views today

51 Times, Part II

How pathetic it feels to write a pity note for myself… or maybe this is for you. All I know is that the pain that you’ve caused me was enough to make me only want to[…]

3,963 total views, no views today


time passes inside these hourglasses the sand dripping, the hands ticking time slipping from our hands; gripping onto an intangible concept- one that i just can’t get. i reflect on my past life that’s on[…]

4,457 total views, 1 views today

drunk dials

everyone that i have met since you have left seems to be a connection; …the six degrees of my obsession. your voice, your expressions- they stick out like an implanted impression embedded into my head[…]

3,609 total views, 1 views today

Clowns & Drunks

     There is something so beautiful about train rides- if you ever just look around, there is such a variety of people. No one ever looks “normal”, & I don’t mean that in an ignorant[…]

2,890 total views, no views today

closing time

Watching the clock, waiting for it. But when you’re waiting for something that’s not meant to nor intended to arrive, you’re fighting a futile battle with time. You pray for the gods to instill their[…]

3,226 total views, 1 views today


i can’t get my mind over it and i can’t get my mind around it to understand it- the timeless question of where time takes us. with the right song on and with the right[…]

2,816 total views, no views today


i am fixated. i am perpetually concentrated on time. on memories, on the past, on the future; i am forever remembering. like tonight, 3 a.m. on the way home still feeling my buzz “everyone falls[…]

2,919 total views, no views today


serpent, you crawl so preciously around my ankle, so professionally. i feel you sliver, so creepily continuing to wrap around, so sneakily. bite me once, i may complain break my flesh, i feel the pain[…]

4,665 total views, no views today

Idle Hands & Heavy Heart

i’m… finding company in Socrates’ prophecies when he speaks to me indirectly telling me that a wise man understands that he knows be it- here i am standing tall amongst the wisest men because[…]

2,677 total views, 1 views today

wonderwalls in wonderlands

I’ll never know why he came to Miami that weekend. I never asked, even though I wanted to, even though I wondered so many times if was for me or not, because I knew it[…]

2,881 total views, 1 views today

Freud This.

5:21 am. I just woke up with an ache on my right shoulder blade, where the gun was pressed so firmly against. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ We were walking the streets of Italy- Italy of all places- together.[…]

4,407 total views, 2 views today



3,511 total views, 1 views today

no subject

Subject:(no subject) Date:12/8/2005 12:24am Pacific Standard Time From: LiL tEaZ 2000 it doesn’t even matter anymore what our reactions towards each other are until i stop having the uncontrollable, irrational impulse to contact you for[…]

2,823 total views, no views today

the van wyck, southbound

you know, you broke my heart again tonight. it wasn’t the kind of broken heart when you walked away from me with a wink telling me it was over, and we were over, forever. you[…]

3,332 total views, no views today

Square 1

On a rock, in my favorite park- a park where my first love told me for the first time “I love you”- is written in what looks like a white-out pen “One Life, One Purpose.”[…]

2,487 total views, 1 views today

Sex With the City

I walked that day, for what could have been five hours straight. Aimlessly; aimed at an undefined destination. I walked tall- as tall as a 4 foot 11 teenager could look – no — feel,[…]

3,239 total views, no views today

crack addict

There’s a crack in this pavement and I can no longer take it I’ve tried to fake it and erase it from my consciousness but I always find myself right back on top of it.[…]

2,547 total views, 1 views today


Have you ever found solace in the thought of dying? Not in a suicidal way, it’s just…. Sometimes when I’m feeling really sad & lonely and misunderstood I wonder, if right now, at this age &[…]

5,445 total views, 1 views today


there’s a deep-seeded hole where my soul should be whole there’s a deep-seeded fear where my confidence should appear & where my conscious should be clear the doubt takes over. there’s a bunch of confusion[…]

2,191 total views, no views today

maybe in another life…

  She would lie awake some nights, putting her self to sleep by putting on plays constructed by her imagination. In her twin-sized bed, hot pink sheets, lights off and door closed, she would pretend[…]

2,768 total views, no views today

Rinse, Wash, Repeat

She steps out of the shower with drops of water from her hair colliding with blood dripping down her ankle- how she hates shaving. She opens the blinds in her room to let in some[…]

2,476 total views, no views today

that girl

On a shelf inside of her room is a bottle of Dolce and Gabanna perfume, unopened, in wait for the perfect occasion with the perfect person to use it for. She has yet to find[…]

2,451 total views, 1 views today

Out of Focus

building new memories, after years of separation now things are different and they are distorted and unclear to me why we even restarted and we can’t discuss it because you’ll get frustrated & i can’t[…]

2,035 total views, 1 views today


the smell of a september morning; olfactory the salty taste of lust off of someone else’s body; gustation the way that you say my name when we’re in it; auditory seeing a soul with eyes[…]

2,042 total views, no views today


i feel it all around me; it surrounds me. the ground below me & the clear atmosphere- it’s all encompassing. swarming, warming, enwrapping, and entrapping me with earthly beauty. i feel it penetrate through my[…]

3,886 total views, no views today


red lights streaming in the streets my voice screaming inside my head; so discreet. my heart’s going so quickly- can you feel its beats? how’s my scent smell on your sheets? 2,196 total views, no views[…]

2,196 total views, no views today

Growing Pains

“Don’t worry, it’ll all make sense to you one day. One day. But not today.” And that’s when I woke up. ________________________________________________________ I have always had intense dreams in my sleeping state. So intense, and[…]

2,685 total views, no views today

The Doorbell Days

I am witnessing a Generation- a World- where I can access anything from anywhere and share it with anyone, and yet I’ve never felt more removed from humanity. But it’s not because we are growing[…]

2,157 total views, 1 views today


it was the last night i’d ever look at you looking at me that way. you were so ready to be done with me but you came for just one last glance to remember, through[…]

2,826 total views, 1 views today

92nd Street

Lately, the motif of dealing with growing up and losing innocence has been all I can write about; all I can think about. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ On the ride home from dinner CC inquires form the backseat, “You[…]

3,349 total views, no views today

At Almost Twenty

It’s summer, Early Summer. Stopped at a four-way intersection, I look over to my right. Fuck. What am I supposed to do with all this shit? The passenger side represents my life: an unorganized collaboration[…]

2,581 total views, no views today


Sunny day, in the summer. Early summer. All that surrounds us rich, green grass. We are in neon-colored one-piece bathing suits and our long, brown hair is wet and matted to our backs. Our run[…]

2,160 total views, 1 views today

tricks are for kids.

You complicate me The way you make me Question my decisions Every minute, living in this conflict; this predicament. You draw me in With debatable bait So indecisive if you want me to bite it-[…]

1,890 total views, no views today

heads or tails

It’s these contradictions that I’m constantly in; these self inflicted predicaments. It’s these sins that I give in to, when I give in to you. I have all these feelings that I’m yielding but not[…]

1,936 total views, no views today

My One & Only

I wonder… what he looks like. His style, how his voice sounds, the shape of his teeth, his eyebrows, and fingers. What our apartment will look like when we decorate it together. How our fights[…]

2,706 total views, 2 views today

a four-stanza storm

Opaque light filling Up every crevice Of the atmosphere That I live under.    Too cold for my skin’s Receptors to handle and Too wet for my feet to step out in To take the[…]

3,696 total views, no views today

A Not-So-Straight Circle

He told me, “Life is funny like that.” ______________________________________________________________________ I had this brief brush with a thought today: What if this is our purgatory, now, in this state of what we call “living?” I thought[…]

2,220 total views, 2 views today

addictive expectations.

getting high, digging inside, to full a void. turning to outlets that only destroy god given gifts that i keep wasting because in my mind nothing fits inside there’s a heart that’s pacing, beating, it’s[…]

2,151 total views, no views today

Sex With the City Part II

I do this thing; It’s my own personal fling. So promiscuous, so intimate. They get a taste of my delicious intent; I’m so into it.   With a look in my eyes as I walk[…]

2,911 total views, 1 views today

better than

on going and going- three years- in my life, then out, then in and out, again. part of me, one with me and then separated.   not for long, though not until you call me[…]

2,358 total views, no views today

defaulted bar code; scan again

i wait again with the same intention. i hope again. in and out i exhale leaving and breathing out an invisible trail of anxiety.   every inch inside of me- every minuscule, minute molecule- is[…]

2,267 total views, 1 views today

Devil’s Advocate

I contradict and I persist. I fail and I prevail. More wise than you can imagine, More bright than you can fathom. Yet more foolish than I thought possible, More naive than I thought probable.[…]

2,459 total views, 1 views today

the kindness for weakness cliche

let me be your target. my smile marks it- the space where my lips part, it’s the most obvious indication- there, in that separation, of the bottom and top- it’s the beaming of my heart.[…]

3,816 total views, 1 views today

Compare & Contrast

As darkness falls outside, around me, inevitably, a lamp glows inside, to provide an artificial light- a false, cheap extension of an eternal day.   As I lay, positioned, I notice the subtle changes from[…]

5,471 total views, 2 views today