there’s a deep-seeded hole
where my soul should be whole
there’s a deep-seeded fear
where my confidence should appear
& where my conscious should be clear
the doubt takes over.
there’s a bunch of confusion
computing
through my head
and it makes no sense.
wish i could rewind to a time when i was in a better state of mind
before bills, before sex, before the thrills came at an expense
and an expensive one at that.
before obligations started obstructing my care-free mentality
before responsibility started ruining my clarity
call me naive
or immature
but i don’t want to believe
this is what i’m living for;
a meaningless job
and meaningless relationships
mundane day to day routines
depending on caffeine,
what if i’m not ready to enter your real world of misery?
what if i said i desperately need someone to run away with me?
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